Now Then Whenever / Now Then Whenever

This That Whatever - Lifestyle / Now Then Whenever - Inspire

Yes, It’s All Your Fault: Active vs. Passive Mindsets

The hard truth is that most things in your life – good and bad – are your fault. The sooner you realize that, the better things will be. Here’s how to cultivate an active mindset and take control of your life.

What happens when someone repeatedly says it—whatever “it” may be—is not their fault?
“It’s not my fault I was late for the meeting. Traffic was bad.”
“It’s not my fault I lost money. I got the stock tip from a friend.”
“It’s not my fault I don’t have the skills for the job and was laid off. They should have trained me.”

I don’t want to get into edge cases. But most of the time these kinds of things are your fault. And if you don’t see that, you’re going to continue to find yourself in these situations over and over again.

You should have planned for traffic. You made a terrible investment and you have no idea what you’re doing. Stop waiting for people to teach you the skills you need to earn a living and go learn them.

When the passive mindset takes over, you say another phrase that drives me batty: “I can’t.” Actually, yes you can, you’re just not willing to pay the price. You’re not willing to do the work or spend the time. You’re not willing to do something hard. You’re not willing to sacrifice what’s needed.

The passive mindset is defined by an attitude, an assumption that life happens to you and you’re not responsible. People with this mindset also say things like, “Why does this always happen to me?”

When the language you use about things going on in your life is passive, you slowly convince yourself that nothing is your responsibility. This makes you feel good because it absolves you from responsibility. It means you don’t have to look inside yourself and change anything.  It means you’re not in control.
Well I have news for you: you are in control. You’re in control of how you respond to the ups and downs of life. You’re in control of how you talk to yourself.

An active attitude means ownership. You own your failures. An active mindset means you are responsible for things you control.
“Sorry, I should have planned for traffic, I’ll consider that next time.”
“Wow, that investment blew up! I really don’t know what I’m doing. Maybe I should learn.”
“I got laid off because I didn’t make myself indispensable. I won’t let that happen again.”

The next time you catch yourself saying “I can’t,” say “I choose not to because….“
“I choose not to go to the gym because….”
“I choose not to learn something new because…”
“I choose not to eat healthy because….”

It’s not that you can’t do something it’s that unless you have literally done everything, you’re choosing not to because the price is too high. Stop lying to yourself.
Own your choices. Own the process. Take control.

Found here

This That Whatever

This That Whatever - Lifestyle

Here are some conversation starters for gatherings with friends, family and work colleagues, found here :

Are there any household chores you secretly enjoy? Which ones — and why?
Are there any laws or social rules that completely baffle you?
Are you a starter or a finisher?
Are you afraid of flying in airplanes? (How come?)
Are you living your life purpose — or still searching?
Are you useful in a crisis?
Can you tell when someone is lying?
Can you tell when someone is telling the truth?
Do you believe in magic? When have you felt it?
Do you believe that everyone deserves forgiveness?
Do you believe that people deserve to be happy?
Do you ever hunt for answers or omens in dreams?
Do you ever yearn for your life, before Facebook?
Do you have a morning ritual?
Do you have any habits you wish you could erase?
Do you have any irrational fears?
Do you have any personal rituals for the end of the year?
Do you have any physical features that you try to cloak or hide? How come?
Do you like to be saved — or do the saving?
Do you secretly miss Polaroid cameras?
Do you think everyone has the capacity to be a leader?
Do you think we should live like we’re dying?
Do you think we’re designed for monogamy? (Why or why not?)
Do you think you’re currently operating at 100% capacity?
Ever fantasize about being in a rock band? What would your group be called?
Has a teacher ever changed your life? How so?
Have you ever (actually) kept a New Year’s Resolution?
Have you ever been genuinely afraid for your physical safety?
Have you ever dreamed about starting a business? (Or if you’ve already got one — a new business?)
Have you ever fantasized about changing your first name? To what?
Have you ever fantasized about writing an advice column? What’s the first question you’d like to answer?
Have you ever had a psychic reading? Did you believe it? Was it accurate?
Have you ever had to make a public apology? (How come?)
Have you ever met one of your heroes?
Have you ever met someone who was genuinely evil?
Have you ever pushed your body further than you dreamed possible?
Have you ever screamed at someone? (How come?)
Have you ever set two friends up on a date? (How did it go?)
Have you ever stolen anything? (Money, candy, hearts, time?)
Have you ever unplugged from the Internet for more than a week?
Have you ever won an award? What was it for?
How do you engage with panhandlers on the street?
How do you reign in self-critical voices?
How long can you go without checking your emails or texts?
How would you fix the economy?
If a mysterious benefactor wrote you a check for $5,000 and said, “Help me solve a problem — any problem!” … what would you do with him or her?
If social media didn’t exist, how would your life be different?
If you could choose your own life obstacles, would you keep the ones you have?
If you could custom blend a perfume or cologne, what would it include?
If you could enroll in a PhD program, with your tuition paid in full by a mysterious benefactor, what would you study — and why?
If you could have tea with one fictional character, who would it be?
If you could master any instrument on earth, what would it be?
If you could save one endangered species from extinction, which would you choose?
If you could sit down with your 15-year old self, what would you tell him or her?
If you had an extra $100 to spend on yourself every week, what would you do?
If you were heading out on a road trip right this minute, what would you pack?
If you were searching through an online dating website, what’s the #1 quality / trait that would attract you to someone’s profile?
If you were to die three hours from now, what would you regret most?
If you wrote romance novels or erotic fiction, what would your “pen name” be?
Is there something that people consistently ask you for help with? What is it?
Is war a necessary evil?
What are you an expert on? Is it because of training, lived experience, or both?
What are you bored of?
What are you devoted to creating, in the New Year?
What are you freakishly good at?
What are you starving for?
What do you value most: free time, recognition, or money?
What is your spirit animal?
What was the best kiss of your entire life?
What was the best part of your day, so far?
What was the most agonizing hour of your life?
What was your proudest moment from the past twelve months?
What was your very first job?
What was your worst haircut / hairstyle of all time?
What’s going to be carved on your (hypothetical) tombstone?
What’s in your fridge, right this moment?
What’s in your pocket (or purse, or man-purse) right now?
What’s one dream that you’ve tucked away for the moment? How come?
What’s one mistake you keep repeating (and repeating)?
What’s one thing you’re deeply proud of — but would never put on your résumé?
What’s something you’ve tried, that you’ll never, ever try again?
What’s the best birthday cake you ever ate?
What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
What’s the hardest thing you ever had to write — and why?
What’s the last book that you couldn’t put down?
What’s the most out-of-character choice you’ve ever made?
What’s the strangest date you’ve ever been on?
What’s the title of your future memoir?
What’s the worst piece of advice you’ve ever been given?
What’s your definition of an ideal houseguest?
What’s your guiltiest of guilty pleasures?
What’s your most urgent priority for the rest of the year?
What’s your personal anthem or theme song?
What’s your recipe for recuperating from extreme heartbreak?
When was the last time you astonished yourself?
When was the last time you got stuck in a rut? How did you get out of it?
When was the last time you saw an animal in the wild?
When you see peers / competitors getting things you want, how do you react?
Where & when do you get your best ideas?
Who is the last person that deeply disappointed you? (What happened?)
Would you consider yourself an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert?
Would you like to write a book? (About what?)
Would you rather be a lonely genius, or a sociable idiot?
Would you rather have a live-in massage therapist, or a live-in chef?
Would you rather have an extra $200 a day, or an extra 2 hours a day?
And of course…
What are you most grateful for, right now, in this moment?

This That Whatever

This That Whatever - Lifestyle

I am back. Did you miss me? It has been a while hasn't it. Not sure where the time went, but lets move together with it shall we.

On that note I saw this and thought it appropriate to start with following my absence...

The 25 best icebreaker questions for team building, found here

#1: What was your first job?

#2: Have you ever met anyone famous?

#3: What are you reading right now?

#4: If you could pick up a new skill in an instant what would it be?

#5: Who’s someone you really admire?

#6: Seen any good movies lately you’d recommend?

#7: Got any favorite quotes?

#8: Been pleasantly surprised by anything lately?

#9: What was your favorite band 10 years ago?

#10: What’s your earliest memory?

#11: Been anywhere recently for the first time?

#12: What’s your favorite family tradition?

#13: Who had the most influence on you growing up?

#14: What was the first thing you bought with your own money?

#15: What’s something you want to do in the next year that you’ve never done before?

#16: Seen anything lately that made you smile?

#17: What’s your favorite place you’ve ever visited?

#18: Have you had your 15 minutes of fame yet?

#19: What’s the best advice you’ve ever heard?

#20: How do you like your eggs?

#21: Do you have a favorite charity you wish more people knew about?

#22: Got any phobias you’d like to break?

#23: Have you returned anything you’ve purchased recently? Why?

#24: Do you collect anything?

#25: What’s your favorite breakfast cereal?

This That Whatever

This That Whatever - Lifestyle / Room - Outdoor

I have been converted to the outdoor holiday, after my Larapinta Trek, but only if it is Glamping. Below is a good example of what would be my tick of approval.

 

 

Found here 

If you had space in your backyard, here is an alternative to not-quite-glamping. Or perhaps another guest room?

 

Found here

This That Whatever

This That Whatever - Lifestyle

I am only 5 months into using a digital mobile and controversially, it is not an iPhone. So everything is new to me. But I have noticed that there are a lot more people/blogs that are coming out with Apps not just for iPhones, but Android as well.

Alas, I don't want to be dependent solely on my mobile, so I am noting them for reference below, just in case. But a detailed list of them are here.

Happier: (Avail on Android) Upload an image, write a comment to describe that moment that made you happy today and then you can choose to share or keep that moment private

Steller: (Avail on Android) A new social media app that lets you create beautiful stories and share them with friends and followers

The Official Metropolitan Museum of Art App: There are great photos, tours of physical spaces without the museum (and The Cloisters), and “Staff Picks,” which let you see the collections through the eyes of the people who know them best

Hyperlapse: An app from Instagram that lets you create your own time lapse videos with your phone

Party Party: You can take new photos (or import photos from your archive) and turn them into tiny animated clips you can share online

Afterlight: Lets you adjust all sorts of settings, add filters and crop and shape images into just about anything you like.

Stitcher: Basically an Internet radio that lets you listen to your favourite podcasts whenever you like.

Timefull: An organizational app where you can add daily goals like exercising more or small chores like walking the dog, but you can also update and manage your day-to-day schedule and add alerts for pressing events.

CitizenMe: An interesting app that scans ALL the apps on your phone to tell you about policies in them you should be aware of and shows you how to change your settings if you’re currently sharing something you were unaware of or don’t want to do anymore.

BuyPartisan: No matter what your political affiliation is (if any), this app will let you scan the bar code of ANY product (maybe US only) and can immediately tell you about that company, their donation behavior, how they pay their employees and what PACs they belong to is pretty amazing.

Whilst we are on apps, lets talk about Instagram. There are so many people to follow. Who do you follow and why? I mainly go for the creative ones. Here are a few lists to get you started:

14 Florists to follow on Instagram - found here

16 Photographers to follow in Instagram - found here and here
10 Creative Instagram accounts to follow - found here

10 Food Instagram accounts to follow - found here
10 Travel Instagram accounts to follow - found here

The Best Instagrams to Follow: Fall Inspiration Edition - found here

Huffington Post: 23 Women to Follow on Instagram - found here

The above pictures are on my Pinterest - Now Then Whenever board.

Then, just in ....Feeling bad about abandoning your favorited tweets? If you want some assistance with your account Hubbble will help - Once a week, they will send you an e-mail containing all the tweets with links that you have favorited through out the week.

This That Whatever

This That Whatever - Lifestyle/Art

I am going to be taking a bit of a break from the blog. The reason being, one, I have had a slight problem with my computer, and need to get that back up and running smoothly, as it has been quite a burdon of late. Secondly, I have joined a gym (the first time in my life), which I am committed to following thru with for the next 6 months.

I am sure I could continue on as is with everything, but I would like to take a break anyway, ideally to get some creative juices flowing and switch things up and around a bit, coming back with renewed enthusiasm.

In case you were wondering, I have been blogging every day for nearly 3 years without a break. Thankfully, I have my blog to remind me of those years, cause seriously it has gone so fast I can't quite believe it.

So on that note, here are two lovely pictures to gaze at and admire during this break. I will see you back here in July.


Found here
 

Found here

This That Whatever

This That Whatever - Lifestyle

I have been thinking about this for a while, so it was interesting actually read an article on what jobs will be like in the future - Average is Over.  Found here.

Take, also, a look at this Editor's Note from Garance Dore on what modernity has to offer and how it is continually evolving. More food for thought.

Found here

Then to prepare you for this all, read 10 Ways to Do What You Don't Want To Do. Or read 10 Easy Ways to Organise Your Life.

On that note, here is a good example of what to plan for when changing your career or starting a business and as you need to do a bit of networking, these tips on How To Survive a Party Alone are helpful. But before that read Find Your Passion With These 8 Though-Provoking Questions.

Take a look at this 100 day challenge. What would you do in that time?

Found here

Then one final treat, if I could write like Ben I would be happy. He tells a warming story. Like this. I want to go to Tangiers now, especially after seeing Only Lovers Left Alive.